I am seeking someone who has more money than they know what to do with to be my benefactor, funding my career making comics, allowing me to quit my cubicle job. Surely, an upper-five-figure salary would be mere pocket change to some of you out there. Why be so greedy? Who knows, maybe I'll become the greatest artist in history. Don't you want to be known for allowing that to happen? But, hey, it's your choice. I just don't want you to feel stupid for missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime.
God, I hate my fucking job.