UltraCrispy

Your Eyes

2011-11-30T22:07:00.001-06:00

There is a new comic. Don't hurt yourself rushing to view it.

Pinocchio Learns a Lesson

2011-11-12T22:52:00.000-06:00

Comic blarga flarga glarb. View it with your eyes.

Bike Pump

2011-11-08T00:18:00.000-06:00

Fingerhead returns in a new comic at UltraCrispy.

Go there now.

New Comic: Options

2011-11-02T21:53:00.002-05:00

So there's a new comic at UltraCrispy.com. Admittedly, this isn't returning with the bang that promised. And busy-ness at work may hamper future efforts at bringing the bang. But drawing is helping me stay sane, so I hope to crank out comics in even the busiest of times. Regardless, the next comic is already almost done and will be posted soon.

Oh, by the way... here, have some silliness:

With a Bang!

2011-10-26T00:20:00.001-05:00

Click to enlarge.

Abandoned Comic: Soul Banana

2011-04-19T23:32:00.004-05:00

Click the pics below to enlarge.

So, I was going to do a comic series called "The Soul Banana Show." It was to feature a semi-anthropomorphic banana with an afro as a talk show host, his fez-wearing helper monkeys (because he has no arms), and his sidekick, the kid superhero, Impossible Girl. I drew the images above, but never got around to coming up with a plot that would make use of them. All I knew was that the comic would mostly take place outside of the talk show. I gave up on the comic when I realized that having a character with certain racial stereotypes might not be such a great idea, especially with me being a white guy. Some other white guys may or may not have successfully pulled it off with Afrodisiac, but that's just not the direction I want to go in. I mean, I never intended for the comic to explore racial issues at all, so why have racial stereotypes? I may resurrect elements of this comic with a different character in place of Soul Banana.

As for the images themselves, they weren't quite done. I was trying to figure out whether I should add color, grayscale shading, or black shading (like crosshatching). I never decided, and so the images look like something out of a coloring book.

More Abandoned Comics

2011-04-10T00:27:00.000-05:00

Along the lines of my previous post, here's an old, old comic that I abandoned after drawing just 1 and a half panels.

Here's one that's nearly finished, but I mothballed it because wow it's bad. Click to enlarge.

And finally, here's one I didn't think was too bad, but it didn't interest me enough for me to finish it. Click to enlarge.

I'll likely find more if I dig around in my old files. Stay tuned.

Abandoned and Unfinished Comics

2011-04-06T23:01:00.001-05:00

I haven't updated UltraCrispy.com in quite awhile. I guess I've been too busy procrastinating, hating my job, and scrapping several comics. Check out the results of my wasted efforts below.

This is me. Hahahaha...

Click pic above to enlarge.

Sketchbook: Head, Gut, or Groin

2011-01-30T21:50:00.000-06:00

Another sketch from the same procrastination session as the last sketch.

Sketchbook: Alien

2011-01-30T21:48:00.000-06:00

Just a tossed-off somethin' when I was avoiding doing anything useful:

Weight

2011-01-27T23:49:00.001-06:00

Don't know if I'll make this an official comic over at ultracrispy.com. For now it'll be our little secret.

Click to enlarge.

Fake Fur

2011-01-21T23:13:00.001-06:00

New comic. Clicky the pic-y to see it.

Parachute

2011-01-01T14:51:00.000-06:00

I barfed up another comic:

Proposal

2010-12-27T23:36:00.002-06:00

Should you choose to click the pic below, you shall be transported to a new comic:

I've got some days off from work coming up this week, making it more likely for me to deliver more comics in a timely manner.

Brainstorming Exercise #637

2010-12-27T20:15:00.000-06:00

"#637" because prime numbers always sound more random and therefore more realistic, right?

In other news, god, I hate my fucking job.

And now a sketch from the bathroom...

2010-12-26T15:01:00.000-06:00

A Wonderful Doll

2010-12-26T14:56:00.000-06:00

I got a Christmas card from my mother- and father-in-law. I was reading it aloud to my kids when I stopped before I got to the last word.

I was thinking, "'A wonderful doll?' Doll?! Why would they think I'd want a doll?" Then my wife, annoyed, finished reading the card for me: "...a wonderful 2011."

The New Face of UltraCrispy

2010-12-24T20:30:00.000-06:00

Transformer

2010-12-24T17:01:00.001-06:00

Finally. A new comic. Click the pic below to see it.

And here's an image from the comic that didn't make the cut:

Status Update and a Brainstorming Exercise

2010-12-16T21:30:00.001-06:00

Hi, guys! Well, my new job is pretty shitty. I like to refer to it as "fecal-based employment." I have a couple comics in the works but I never get to finish them due to long hours at the office. The pic to the left is something I cut out of one of the works in progress.

One good thing about a shitty job is that it drives me to work on comics just to attain at least a tiny sense of fulfillment. Now if only I can just get rid of this overtime bullshit. I'll try to eek out a comic within a week. Otherwise, work might finally ease up in January and my comicking efforts shall bear fruit.

Until then, perhaps you'll enjoy a goofy brainstorming exercise that I'm embarrassed to admit kind of makes me laugh. You're better off not looking for a punchline or any discernible joke.

(Click to enlarge.)

I GOT A JOB! Also: Hiatus?

2010-10-01T23:31:00.000-05:00

From the home page of UltraCrispy.com:

"After four months of unemployment, I'll be starting a new job as a software engineer on Monday (October 4, 2010). It was a long ordeal to land this job, and in the process the company somehow managed to build up some oddly high expectations for me. To ensure I don't fuck up this golden opportunity in the midst of a shit economy, I am reserving my "free" time to work at getting ahead in the company. This probably means that UltraCrispy is going on hiatus. Maybe things will ease up after I have my three-month performance review. Or maybe the job won't be so tough. Hope to see you sooner than later."

Wah-Wah

2010-09-22T13:19:00.000-05:00

I posted a new comic. It's not the one I planned on posting, but the other one was taking me too long. May you find enjoyment, nonetheless. Click pic to see comic.

A Page From My Sketchbook

2010-09-19T16:46:00.001-05:00

Click pic to enlarge

Twitter: a recently-broken, personal taboo

2010-09-07T02:48:00.003-05:00

I once said I would never blog, much less use the regrettable word "blog," yet here I am. And I swore I'd never own a cell phone, but I gave in a couple months ago. My wife insisted I get one to ensure I could be reached when she went into labor.

Well, it's time for me to once again spit in the face of my near-Amish tendencies and partake in another modern frivolity: Twitter. You can find me at twitter.com/ultracrispy. I find most people's Twitter pages to be an incomprehensible jumble of disembodied responses to other Twitter comments I'll never read. But then I've also seen pages that have endless comic gems, with little of that reply clutter. I'll probably minimize replies myself, for aesthetic reasons, but also because I'm shy. (Bah, watch me eat my words on this, too.)

Broken Leg

2010-09-04T01:45:00.000-05:00

I said the next comic would be multi-paneled but it's with shame and regret that I must announce that the next comic is in fact uni-paneled. Click the pic to see it.

Scissors

2010-09-01T22:58:00.000-05:00

I posted another one-panel cartoon. I'm pretty sure the next one will be multi-paneled. Click the pic to be carried off to one-panel heaven.

Sketchbook: Jolly and Pissy

2010-08-30T15:00:00.000-05:00

Sketchbook: Two Idiots

2010-08-30T14:58:00.000-05:00

The guy on the left looks like a Kennedy.

Big-Boned

2010-08-27T00:53:00.000-05:00

New comic. I've got a big ol' boner over on UltraCrispy. Click the pic to check it out.

Fingerhead: Twister

2010-08-25T13:49:00.000-05:00

I posted a new comic with a familiar face. Click the pic below to see it:

I started drawing this strip a long time ago. When I resumed drawing it recently, I reluctantly discarded some extraneous panels. Click below to enlarge:

The unfinished, sketchy part in the first panel was supposed to be some attractive ladies playing twister. These two panels would directly precede the panels in the finished comic. But, alas, they unnecessarily lengthen the strip. You know... "Brevity is the soul of wit" and all that.

Grandpa's Birthday: Rejected Panels

2010-08-22T01:41:00.002-05:00

I forgot to post this earlier. Here is what this comic was shaping up to look like before I decided to trash it and start over:

Cobweb

2010-08-22T01:30:00.000-05:00

I am in the middle of a comic-making frenzy! Well, admittedly this one has a throw-away gag. Click on the pic to go see it.

Grandpa's Birthday

2010-08-19T22:09:00.000-05:00

Wow, that was pretty quick (for me). Click the pic for the latest Ultracrispy comic. The comic has a different look from my usual output. That's because it has 100% less Adobe Illustrator in it.

A Tale of Two Fairy Tales

2010-08-17T01:03:00.003-05:00

I posted a new comic. Click the pic to go see it:

I've covered similar ground in the past, by the way. And here's a rejected, unfinished panel:

UltraCrispy.com Redesigned

2010-08-15T12:44:00.000-05:00

I gave UltraCrispy.com a visual overhaul. I liked the old look, but it didn't match the cartoony nature of the comics that I post. So I cartoonified the old logo and navigation buttons and tried to reduce visual clutter. Somehow the project dragged on for a number of days. So that's been delaying my output of new comics. And before that, an extended visit by in-laws physically separated me from the computer that I use to make comics. (They occupied the room my computer resides.) In between caring for a new baby and trying to get a job, it's back to making comics I go!

I Had a Job Interview Today

2010-08-04T23:50:00.000-05:00

Nose Job

2010-08-01T00:09:00.001-05:00

Got another new comic done and it's called "The Case Against Nose Jobs." Click the pic below to see it.

While making this comic, I ended up with a discarded remnant that struck me as kind of funny, so here it is:

Laid

2010-07-27T16:56:00.000-05:00

New comic. Click pic above to see it.

There, There

2010-05-05T01:01:00.000-05:00

I don't even know why I'm posting this. I guess I should explain why I haven't been posting comics at UltraCrispy lately. Well, there are two reasons: 1) I simply have less free time, and 2) the kind of comics I've been doing suddenly don't interest me anymore. I'm burned out on gag strips with little or no continuity. I feel like I ought to be saving my precious free time to work on something more lofty, like a graphic novel. I also have this urge to do something more original and innovative with my work. I'm tired of seeing the same old shit in the entertainment that I consume, and I feel the only way I'll find something new and orignal is to make it myself. Not that I have any ideas how to accomplish that. Well, with another kid on the way along with impending unemployment, making silly little drawings probably shouldn't be a priority of mine. I guess I can just keep posting tossed-off sketches like the one above. I don't seem to have a problem churning those out.

By the way, I doodled the sketch above in mere minutes, just as something to do while listening to a podcast. (Ahem, was I just complaining about a lack of free time?) I tend to draw incredibly slowly, so it was quite a feat for me. Maybe this fast, loose approach is the key to a more satisfying comic-making experience. We'll see.

Rock-Kicker

2010-03-25T23:02:00.000-05:00

I didn't get a comic done "on time" this week, but I might have it done for Saturday. If not Saturday, then it's going to have to be way later, as I'll be out of town through Wednesday next week. But, hey, here's a silly sketch I made at work instead.

Jackhammer

2010-03-18T23:05:00.001-05:00

Yeah, yeah, click the pic to see the latest UltraPissy comic. That's good ol' Fingerhead in the comic sample up there, as you may remember him from past comics. It would be nice to give him a storyline and develop his character a bit. Well, lots of things would be nice, wouldn't they?

Sweet Tooth

2010-03-11T23:58:00.001-06:00

Click the pic to see this week's comic.

It's been a busy work week, so I had to dig another strip out of the scrap heap. If you don't care for these Gatchwood Brapperly strips, well, the next few strips I post probably won't be Gatchwood ones.

Gatchwood borrows a bit from Red Meat, which reminds me of Scary Bear. I miss Scary Bear.*

* I know the name of the strip is actually "Comic Strip" but I think it is (was) better known by the name of its web site.

Grumpy

2010-03-04T22:29:00.001-06:00

I didn't draw a comic this week, so I dug an old one out of the old scrap bin. Click the pic to see it.

Shit's getting crazy, yo. I've got another kid on the way. I'll be laid off in a few months, and so I'll be forced to find another job that I'll despise. Meanwhile, I muddle along, posting comics for an audience that hovers between 5 and 10 people. I'm not saying I deserve a larger following. Rather, maybe my time would be better spent offline, seriously trying to improve my writing and drawing skills. Or maybe I should start working on that Great American Graphic Novel. Ugh, my aspirations are dumb. See ya next week.

A Girl and Her Horse

2010-02-25T21:45:00.000-06:00

Click the pic to see a very special episode of UltraCrispy:

Marvin

2010-02-18T21:53:00.000-06:00

Click pic to check out the latest comic at UltraCrispy.

Tune in next week for a very special episode of UltraCrispy. It's titled A Girl and Her Horse. This is not a joke.

Boy, I haven't been too good about posting sketches lately, have I? I don't know why it feels like such a chore. I'll get on it soon.

V-Day 2010

2010-02-14T02:45:00.000-06:00

Here's the delayed comic. Send someone a link to it if you forgot to buy them a Valentine's Day card.

Just a Bit Delayed

2010-02-12T00:38:00.000-06:00

This week's update at UltraCrispy will be a bit delayed. Look for it this Saturday or Sunday. Next week's update will be on time.

Get Your Puke On

2010-02-10T20:51:00.000-06:00

I drew this after deciding I don't draw enough female characters. I tried to really gross myself out. I think I ended up drawing Carrot Top.

Dick & P. Ness

2010-02-08T21:28:00.000-06:00

They're lawyers. Or Wall Street investors. Or used car salesman. Whomever you don't like.

Weight Loss of Sight

2010-02-04T23:19:00.000-06:00

A-yup, another comic has been posted. Click the pic to see the comic. Looks like Friday is the day new UltraCrispy comics are posted. If I can keep this up another few weeks, maybe I'll state that officially.

Adult Crying League

2010-02-04T20:51:00.000-06:00

This is a case where I drew the guy first and then made up the rest ("The Adult Crying League") to go with it after the fact. Ha. So weird.

Superuglyhero

2010-02-03T21:07:00.000-06:00

Ahh. Back to good ol' smudgy pencil. Whenever my sketches have any text in them, they are almost always an afterthought. I just start drawing without much of a plan. If I can think of some text to throw in at the end, so be it. But it's not like I have some "hilarious" gag I must put to paper.

Three Faces

2010-02-03T20:45:00.000-06:00

I drew this at the same time as the last two sketches I posted. Next up, some more recent stuff.

The Ass Burgers

2010-02-02T20:15:00.000-06:00

I drew this immediately after the "No Regrets" sketch. I hope the pun is obvious enough. I threw in the name "Chas." because I've always noticed it in old-timey things (movies, etc). I know it's an abbreviation for "Charles" but did people actually say "Chas" out loud?

No Regrets

2010-02-01T21:55:00.000-06:00

This is over a year old, drawn with a Pigma Micron pen, which is usually troublesome for me.

I'm disappointed in the relatively low amount of traffic that Ectopiary seems to be getting, according to the site's hit counter. It's a graphic novel in progress, and it may be slow-going with its weekly updates, but it's so well-drawn and intriguing that it's worth it. Besides, the author, Hans Rickheit, also put out The Squirrel Machine, which has appeared on many a best-of-2009 list. Go read it, people.

Brief Message

2010-01-29T01:12:00.001-06:00

An update at the ol' Sultry Brisby. Go look at it.

Look, Ma! No Hands!

2010-01-28T00:27:00.001-06:00

Well, I guess I'll be posting sketches on a regular to semi-regular basis. I have quite a backlog to work through but the sketch above is one I drew today. I've been reading some really weird (but great) comics lately. I definitely let them be an influence.

Kid 'N Pup

2010-01-26T21:24:00.000-06:00

I'm only posting this because it just happened to get scanned in along with another sketch that I'm using for an upcoming comic. I've got a big ol' backlog of other sketches that I can upload, but it does take time scanning them in and cleaning them up. Is it worth it? Does anyone even want to see these sketches?

Monobrow

2010-01-21T20:54:00.000-06:00

Another week, another comic, another bout of depression...

Wonder Drug

2010-01-14T23:37:00.002-06:00

This week I'm getting grayscale on yo' ass with a copy-and-paste installment of A Gatchwood Brapperly. Click a-here to see it.

Happy, Know It?

2010-01-08T00:19:00.000-06:00

Shit, man, I was sick most of the week. That made it difficult to finish a comic for this week. But finished it is. Go see it.

Yahoo Douche

2010-01-01T22:38:00.000-06:00

Often when I'm logging into Yahoo email, I'm confronted by this ad, featuring the douchiest, too-cool-for-his-mom, punk-ass teen:

What's that kid's problem? Embarrassed by his mom? He looks like the last person who would actually want to "see updates from people who matter." Not the best way to promote your product, Yahoo.

UltraCrispy 2010

2009-12-31T23:23:00.000-06:00

The redesigned UltraCrispy site has been uploaded along with a new comic.

I think I'm done with the issue format, where I would post several comics and images on a single page. Smaller, more frequent updates are probably a better idea.

gnisuma

2009-12-07T21:10:00.002-06:00

Today's amusing.org offering is mine:

Coming back...

2009-11-27T13:59:00.000-06:00

After letting things get all hiatusy in UltraCrispyLand, I figured I should mention that I'm in the middle of putting together new material. I'm redesigning the web site, too, so hopefully it'll be a bit more aesthetically pleasing and slightly less minimalist.

Getting Laid Off

2009-10-08T22:43:00.007-05:00

I'll just repeat what I have up at UltraCrispy.com:

Hello, people. I just got word that I'll be getting laid off from my day job. The good news is that I'm guaranteed a job until June 2010. The bad news that I unsuccessfully tried to get a new job before the economic crisis, so it'll be infinitely harder to find one now.

While my brain is in a not-really-giving-a-crap-about-anything fog, I've decided to post two random images below that may or may not entertain you. Either way, I don't give a crap. Remember? My now-even-worse depression will either drive me into a comic-making frenzy, or it will turn off the creativity faucet altogether. Or whatever. Check back and see what happens.

In the meantime, if anyone knows of a software engineering position, I'm your man. Or if you feel like forking over a meager sum of kish-kash for a custom comic or illustration, again, I'm your man. Get in touch with me at irkworks (at) yahoo.com.

-Crispy

PS If you're wondering what happened to that experimental comic that was in
progress, you can find it here. I'll get back to it
eventually. For now I'm too busy not giving a crap.

Fucked!

2009-09-28T22:16:00.003-05:00

Hey, whaddaya know, it's a photo-realistic self-portrait! It's me! I'm upset because I can't get any comics (or podcasts) done!

It's What's For Dinner

2009-09-27T21:50:00.003-05:00

Edwin Finch

2009-09-25T22:26:00.003-05:00

Here's yet another drawing that made me say to myself, "Ooh, maybe I should save this for something bigger instead of just posting it as a throw-away sketch on an unknown blog." Pfft. Whatever. Here it is and here it will likely remain.

Improv Comic

2009-09-21T22:47:00.004-05:00

I've begun a dangerous experiment! I'm making up a comic as I go. I'm drawing it first, and then coming up with the dialogue afterwards. Check UltraCrispy.com regularly to see the comic develop. (I'm not going to post each update at this blog.)
Meanwhile, my graphic novel is also technically in progress, but I'm mostly putting it off. And believe it or not, I recorded some material for a podcast(!). I'll upload it as soon I can edit it into something presentable.

I Scowl At Your Sports

2009-09-18T10:49:00.002-05:00

The above image is a dramatization of me (left) reacting to people at work (right) yapping endlessly about sports. Actually, it's a juxtaposition of two unrelated images that unintentionally tell a true story.

UltraCrispy collaborator Myles Matheson is responsible for today's amusing.org entry. Geez, give someone else a chance, "Crimeless Glenn."

I Got No Turntables and a Microphone

2009-09-17T16:15:00.003-05:00

I bought a somewhat pricey microphone thanks to accumulated gift cards. So now the public may put pressure on me to actually do something with it, like podcasts and voice-acting for animation. Hopefully I can electronically process the nasal adolescent nerd out of my voice.

The Clenched Fists of Indignation

2009-09-17T09:29:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I get really precious about some of my drawings. I'll draw something off the cuff and then figure that I need to build a comic around it in order to do it justice. Then I'll fruitlessly try to come up with such a comic, thereby keeping myself from working on something more worthwhile. Welcome to my dysfunctional creative process. Anyway, I've posted the drawing above so I can get it out of my system and forget it.

Idiotica Again

2009-09-17T09:09:00.003-05:00

I found the above image lurking uselessly in the dusty corners of my hard drive. It was a potential logo for a never-to-be web site that I once considered. The style doesn't go with the name at all, but I like how it looks nonetheless. I documented other candidates for Idiotica logos here.

Amusing.org'ed

2009-09-16T14:01:00.004-05:00

Well, looky looky. A submission of mine has been posted at amusing.org:

Coincidentally, UltraCrispy collaborator Myles Matheson lays claim to the entries for September 11 and 12. Go, us!

4 Ugly Mugs

2009-09-16T00:44:00.002-05:00

I find drawing ugly characters to be infinitely more fun than drawing attractive characters. That's probably supposed to mean something, psychologically speaking.

I just discovered Jan Svankmajer and need to check out more of his work. A bunch of his films are on YouTube. You should check them out. Here's one I just viewed recently:

Opinion

2009-09-14T16:58:00.004-05:00

Lovers

2009-09-11T08:35:00.000-05:00

This has been the longest 4-day work week ever. The fact that I basically forgot how to sleep these last few weeks compounds the difficulty of staying awake at a job that holds no interest for me. When I go to bed, I often read until I start nodding off. But the second I set my book down and turn off the light, I'm wide awake until at least 2 AM. (My alarm is set for 5:45 AM.) What the FUCK, brain?!

Looks like I'll be sleeping in my car like a hobo during my lunch break.

The Odd Trio

2009-09-10T09:32:00.000-05:00

It's funny how my own sketches remind me of people or things after I've made the sketch. For example, the figure in the middle reminds me of the alien depicted on the movie posters for District 9 (boo!). And the guy on the right reminds me of Terri Schiavo. Both unintentional resemblances.

I've been bitching a lot lately about things I don't like. Well, here are some things I've been enjoying lately (for a change):

Joe Frank, known best for his often philosophical, humorous and sometimes absurd monologues and radio dramas. You can hear a bunch of clips for free in the podcasts section of iTunes. Or you can sign up as a member (for free) at his web site.
Mew, a Danish alternatative prog-rock group (songs are in English). You can listen to their albums for free through the LaLa player here and here. I particularly liked their song "New Terrain" for it's odd-sounding effects. I later found out that it sounds a little weird because it was made so it can be played backwards as a different song ("Nervous") with its own lyrics and melodies. Man, that's just crazy.
Infinite Jest, a novel that's over 1000 pages and contains a couple hundred pages of footnotes which in turn have their own foot notes. I haven't gotten too far into it yet but it involves ridiculously competitive tennis academies, drug addicts, and a video that entertains its viewers so thoroughly that it puts them into a catatonic state. The author has since killed himself. The author of the last book I enjoyed (A Confederacy of Dunces) also killed himself. I don't know what that says about me.
Webcomics like Underworld, Gunshow, Forming, Maakies, and Johnny Ryan's comics.

The graphic novel Local is getting on my good side, but I just started it so I can't vouch for it yet. So far the art is excellent and the stories are compelling.

Finally, the upcoming graphic novel The Squirrel Machine could also be a winner. The artwork looks great and it has the weirdness and creepiness (and perhaps a touch of humor?) that is exactly what I had in mind for my own graphic novel.

Guess Who's Disgusted

2009-09-09T07:44:00.000-05:00

I'm sick of looking at the clock and seeing nothing but a countdown until the next thing I don't feel like doing. I'm sick of killing myself to eat healthy food I don't like in order to make myself live longer so I can eat more food I don't like. I'm sick of paying for entertainment that does the exact opposite of entertaining me.

Plop!

2009-09-08T12:49:00.001-05:00

I can't seem to write or draw anything that I don't passionately hate. Also, I've sucked the fun out of fun. Sob and whimper.

New pic on UC home page

2009-09-06T13:12:00.000-05:00

I re-did the UltraCrispy home page for the moment. It's not a big deal but I like the new pic I added to it:

Smugly

2009-09-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

I saw District 9 last night. What a corny-ass movie. Ugh, the main character was so irritating. He was like a bad version of Steve Carrell. You know, I think I would have liked it more if that character was played by Steve Carrell. As a comedic role.

Duh... Hi!

2009-09-03T09:48:00.000-05:00

Today's Blecky Yuckerella and Underworld made me chuckle.

I guess I'm back, sort of

2009-09-02T14:15:00.000-05:00

As I resume posting sketches here, I'll note that the character above ended up somewhat resembling KC Green's depiction of himself. The sketch is pretty old so I don't remember if that was intentional or not.

I started work on a graphic novel recently, which might prolong the lack of updates at UltraCrispy. I'm toying with the idea of posting a semi-daily, quickly-rendered, semi-autobiographical comic, mostly to combat my crippling, perfectionist tendencies. My last attempt to do so was unfulfilling, so maybe that's a bad idea. I'll see. You'll see. We'll see.

Taking a Break. Also, Sketchbook Dump #2

2009-07-19T22:27:00.001-05:00

I've always been bad regarding infrequent updates and hiatuses at irkworks and UltraCrispy. Well, here I go again. I'm taking a break from UltraCrispy.com as well as this blog. I'm going to recharge my creative batteries and get a firmer grip on assorted life issues. Maybe I'll return soon, maybe it'll be awhile.

I'll close this post with a sketch dump. I have a bunch more sketches I could scan in and use for more sketch dumps but I honestly don't feel like it. My break begins... NOW!

Sketchbook Dump #1

2009-07-15T10:12:00.000-05:00

Here's a bunch of crap that accumulated in my sketchbook. I'll do a couple of similar posts in short order. I wish I had more to write in this here blog, but I am a boring, boring person.

F+

2009-07-14T14:22:00.000-05:00

An interpretation of the image above: my obnoxious, ugly, inner voice is berating me (a wanna-be super-man) for my underachievement (note the "F+" on the paper) regarding UltraCrispy.com. As apt as the interpretation is, I totally made it up just now. The image is actually a composite of two separate sketches.

But, it's true. I'm not satisfied with the way UltraCrispy is turning out. I've got to take some time to experiment and improve my craft.

I'm the Guy Who Sucks, Plus I Got Depression

2009-07-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

Me Is Woe

2009-07-07T14:11:00.000-05:00

We're well past the year 2000, yet I still have to walk into public bathrooms that smell of other peoples' shit. That's not right. Why are we as a civilization putting up with this? With all our technology, we can't develop a cheap, easy remedy?* Even cavemen didn't have to put up with this shit. They'd poop in the forest and no one else had to smell it. Yet thousands of years later here we are inhaling concentrated ass fumes. This is not progress, people.

* Don't tell me to just pinch my nose in the bathroom. There's no way I'm breathing poop molecules into my mouth.

Oh, Shit!

2009-07-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

Please Hate Me

2009-07-03T22:17:00.001-05:00

Well, I think I exhausted my stash of abandoned comic material. Back to sketchbook scribblings.
Today, I went with my wife and 16-month-old daughter, E, to a live butterfly exhibit at the local museum. We do this quite often and it's always a hit, but today E got cranky. I coaxed a butterfly onto my finger and held it in front of E to cheer her up. She reached out and crushed the shit out of the motherfucker. My wife screamed as if our only child had just murdered someone. Just when I thought museum officials would descend upon us, we pried open our daughter's hand and the butterfly flitted away none the worse for wear. Black butterfly residue marked E's hand with the stain of guilt. We briskly fled the butterfly exhibit without apprehension. I laughed. E pouted. My wife wondered where we went wrong as parents to raise such a monster.

Abandoned Comic: Super Kid

2009-07-02T20:17:00.001-05:00

Long before I started up UltraCrispy as it appears in its current incarnation, I considered using the site for a comic strip about a really young superhero and his parents who do not have super powers. Wow, I didn't realize how creepy I made the kid's face. It doesn't even look like a kid's face. For some reason he reminds me of Michael Jackson. Look how far back I placed his ears. Yikes. Anyway, the image above is a close-up of the strip template below:

"#3987" is a made-up strip number. I didn't actually do nearly 4000 strips. I didn't even do one of them. Below is the sketch where the whole idea began. It's funny how I've abandoned several comics involving superheroes.

Abandoned Comic: Shaddap!

2009-06-30T20:44:00.001-05:00

The idea behind this untitled comic was that I would make it up as I go along. Since I never went beyond this panel, I never bothered to come up with answers as to who's following the red-shirt guy or what it is the green-shirt guy is expecting. Overall the art's not so bad, I guess, but the background is pretty weak. I also don't like the fixed line width in the outlines surrounding the characters. These days I much prefer a dynamic outline.

Abandoned Comic: Super Ogre

2009-06-28T20:30:00.000-05:00

This is just a preliminary sketch. It's not finished artwork. Even so, I think it's hilarious that I couldn't be bothered to finish drawing the guy's second boot. A couple more pencil strokes was just asking too much, apparently.

The image was part of a rather fleshed-out graphic novel idea that I eventually shit-canned. I forgot most of the details, but I do remember that it wasn't really a superhero story. Anyway, the character above was initially a typical superhero who turned ogre-like and lost many of his powers after a heroic sacrifice. Perhaps the toe of his boot disappeared when he made said sacrifice.

Abandoned Comic: The Flash

2009-06-26T23:01:00.001-05:00

Click pic to enlarge.

Oh, man. Welcome to the worst idea I've ever had. Here's a comic that was supposed to closely mimic Chris Ware's style, in both the art and the story. I'm pretty sure I wasn't quite done with the art in this image, but it doesn't matter. It's quite obvious it was shaping up to be total dog shit. Check out that window frame. No depth to it at all. Visually, nothing about this resembles Chris Ware's style in the least.

The story has nothing to do with the superhero, as the title might have you believe. Oh no, it's much more embarrassing than that, as you'll see. The story centers around this lonely, depressed woman. She takes her sweet-ass time staring out the window, waiting for something. Finally, she glances at her watch, sighs, and removes her robe. It's time. Stark naked, she walks towards the window and presses her body to the glass. A second later, a passenger train speeds past her window. In several (i.e. too many) panels, we see the passengers displaying a wide range of reactions to the sight of the naked woman. Laughter, disgust, horniness, etc. After the train passes, the woman leaves the window, puts her robe back on, sits on the couch, and takes a long drag off a cigarette. Her face: blank. See, her disrobing gives the story its title. It's implied that she flashes passing trains regularly. She's memorized the train schedules, in fact. It's not clear why she does it but you get the sense it's out of some sort of obligation.

Get this: I meant to make this comic without a trace of humor or irony. It was meant to be serious stuff. It was supposed to rock your ass with poignancy. Yeah.

Abandoned Comic: Impossible Girl

2009-06-25T11:20:00.000-05:00

Click pic to enlarge.

Here's a panel from a graphic novel I abandoned long ago. The art wasn't quite finished, but even so it contains a certain stiffness and sterility that rubs me the wrong way. I haven't completely sworn off these characters (Impossible Girl and Slappy) or even this particular scene, but if I resurrect it I'll redraw it from scratch. I'll post more samples from abandoned comics in the coming days.

A mouse in underwear? Under where?!

2009-06-24T23:04:00.000-05:00

Old Beavis

2009-06-23T14:28:00.000-05:00

The guy on the right reminds me of an older Beavis. The resemblance is not intentional.

Happy Motherfucker's Day

2009-06-21T13:26:00.001-05:00

Really, if you think about it, it's just another way to say Happy Father's Day. Here's a random sketch!